Like or dislike

Is there something wrong with me? Or am I simply so paranoid of what others are thinking of me?

I gotta admit.... I am very sensitive on this. Perhaps because I was bullied when I was young and is really scared of what others are thinking of me. Perhaps I'm pessimistic too, thinking of the negative side of things, thinking "I can't do" or "People don't like me so I am left alone".

But thinking deeper, one might infer that I did not initiate conversations with people at all! And that's my problem.

I can't converse well. I am scared of voicing my opinion sometimes. I am scared of offending people and so kept silent for most of the time in any conversations... I don't wanna say the wrong things.

But saying nothing suggests arrogance on my part, perhaps. I am scared of people's impression on me. That is a great flaw of me.

I surround myself in a bubble and cannot break out of it, even if I want to. Because I don't know how... sounds like an excuse? Maybe! But that's from the bottom of my heart...

Loneliness maybe a familiar feeling for me but I don't wanna face it again... and is struggling against falling into a deep abyss that I would not be able to climb out of, no matter how hard I tried...